I did it. I plunged into freezing cold water. It was for a good cause, so it was worth it - but seriously...it was freezing. The rest of my team was FREAKING out about how cold it was going to be, what their exit strategies would be, etc. I was only focused on getting the heck out of the water. I made this ENORMOUS leap off of the dock and when I hit the water - SHOCK, pure unadulterated shock. The rescue diver that had been standing in the water said calmly, "you're in shock, it's ok. You'll catch your breath, it's cool." I replied, "I'm in shock? Am I not breathing?" Cuz you know, you'd have thought I would've caught on to that. Anywho, I flapped and kicked until I got to the point where I could finally touch bottom, allthewhile thinking, "smile Mary, someone has a camera." Gimme a break self! I was freezing and shocked, I can allow myself a break. Or not. Pulling my soaked, frozen shirt away from my body, I was the 1st one in that group to get OUT of the water. Some genius in the crowd asked, "was it cold?" Hmmm...had he asked others that? Was he serious? numb? in shock? Really guy? Yeesh.
A few coworkers showed up to cheer our team on, and a friend of mine was jumping, so some mutual friends showed up. I was happy to see them after being absent from them for some time, I was grateful for the hugs. Can't say it felt fantastic to not have someone there just for me; someone was missing. I gotta say, I'd much rather go through jumping in that freezing cold water every day, than go through emotional junk every day. At least the water shock wears off, you can change your smelly river clothes, and warm up in a hot shower. The emotional stuff hasn't gotten easier. I have total faith something awesome is going to happen, but some days are harder than others. I'll keep praying, I'll keep hoping for that something fantastic that God has planned for me - I don't know who or when, but I know there's a plan. I'm so grateful that I can rely on His promises and that He'll never forget me - but under that faith, and under part of 'me' is a human who shatters occasionally and can't muster a smile to save her life.
Ugh, that was depressing. But, it was real. So there's that. Someday I'm going to look back on this and think, "Thank God I went through that to get me to where I am. Thank God He saw this victory in store for me."
And oh yes, I marked something off my bucket list today. So far: I visited all things Shakespeare in his hometown, check. I lived in Europe, check. I studied at Cambridge, check. I stood on the stage at the Globe Theatre, check. I found my family roots in Boston (in memory of my precious Grandpa), check. I was published in print *and paid!*, check. I took a road trip on the back of a motorcycle, check. I went on a carriage ride in Central Park w/ an amazing man, check. And today, I did a Polar Plunge - check! On the 14th of February, I get to lead our congregation in a worship song that I wrote - that's gonna be one heckuva check. Later this year - I'm going to Africa, skydiving, and finishing TWO half marathons. (4 checks to come this year!) I'm an especially blessed girl :)
It was a good day, a memorable day, and yes - I have the t-shirt.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 It's a promise I'm counting on :) God never changes, He never fails. And I'm happy to be His.
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