Five years ago, I had a falling out with one of the best gals I've ever known. She's the funniest girl I know, and has inspired and encouraged me more times than I can count. Today - this very day - we reunited. We cried and laughed and hugged a lot - I got to hold her baby and tour her beautiful home. I've missed her so much; she was always more like a sister than a friend. And what would I know of sisters? I've never had one. But, she is different. She knows exactly who I am, through and through, and she doesn't judge me. She gets me, and she's honest, and I am so blessed that she's back.
We were talking about what has gone on in the last five years. She has two kids and is now a stay at home mom; I moved and am single. In the midst of one of our conversations, I said, "I know that something amazing is going to happen, nothing is impossible!" and she pointed at her sweet adopted babies and said, "look! I know!" Man that blessed my heart. Faith in action, miracles in front of me.
My birthday is almost here; and I'm not so sure I want to be awake for it. I'm missing someone desperately, holding on to hope and believing that though this aches, something amazing is in the works for me. I'm clinging to Psalm 139, knowing that there are plans for me - and they've been there LONG before I was even here. I serve a mighty and wonderful God, who comforts me and loves me, and holds me in the palm of His hand.
On this day, I'm so grateful for my many blessings; and while part of me aches, the rest of me sings of how grateful I am that He hears me when I call His name - and that NOTHING is too difficult for Him.
God Bless,
M
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Frozen Stuff
I did it. I plunged into freezing cold water. It was for a good cause, so it was worth it - but seriously...it was freezing. The rest of my team was FREAKING out about how cold it was going to be, what their exit strategies would be, etc. I was only focused on getting the heck out of the water. I made this ENORMOUS leap off of the dock and when I hit the water - SHOCK, pure unadulterated shock. The rescue diver that had been standing in the water said calmly, "you're in shock, it's ok. You'll catch your breath, it's cool." I replied, "I'm in shock? Am I not breathing?" Cuz you know, you'd have thought I would've caught on to that. Anywho, I flapped and kicked until I got to the point where I could finally touch bottom, allthewhile thinking, "smile Mary, someone has a camera." Gimme a break self! I was freezing and shocked, I can allow myself a break. Or not. Pulling my soaked, frozen shirt away from my body, I was the 1st one in that group to get OUT of the water. Some genius in the crowd asked, "was it cold?" Hmmm...had he asked others that? Was he serious? numb? in shock? Really guy? Yeesh.
A few coworkers showed up to cheer our team on, and a friend of mine was jumping, so some mutual friends showed up. I was happy to see them after being absent from them for some time, I was grateful for the hugs. Can't say it felt fantastic to not have someone there just for me; someone was missing. I gotta say, I'd much rather go through jumping in that freezing cold water every day, than go through emotional junk every day. At least the water shock wears off, you can change your smelly river clothes, and warm up in a hot shower. The emotional stuff hasn't gotten easier. I have total faith something awesome is going to happen, but some days are harder than others. I'll keep praying, I'll keep hoping for that something fantastic that God has planned for me - I don't know who or when, but I know there's a plan. I'm so grateful that I can rely on His promises and that He'll never forget me - but under that faith, and under part of 'me' is a human who shatters occasionally and can't muster a smile to save her life.
Ugh, that was depressing. But, it was real. So there's that. Someday I'm going to look back on this and think, "Thank God I went through that to get me to where I am. Thank God He saw this victory in store for me."
And oh yes, I marked something off my bucket list today. So far: I visited all things Shakespeare in his hometown, check. I lived in Europe, check. I studied at Cambridge, check. I stood on the stage at the Globe Theatre, check. I found my family roots in Boston (in memory of my precious Grandpa), check. I was published in print *and paid!*, check. I took a road trip on the back of a motorcycle, check. I went on a carriage ride in Central Park w/ an amazing man, check. And today, I did a Polar Plunge - check! On the 14th of February, I get to lead our congregation in a worship song that I wrote - that's gonna be one heckuva check. Later this year - I'm going to Africa, skydiving, and finishing TWO half marathons. (4 checks to come this year!) I'm an especially blessed girl :)
It was a good day, a memorable day, and yes - I have the t-shirt.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 It's a promise I'm counting on :) God never changes, He never fails. And I'm happy to be His.
A few coworkers showed up to cheer our team on, and a friend of mine was jumping, so some mutual friends showed up. I was happy to see them after being absent from them for some time, I was grateful for the hugs. Can't say it felt fantastic to not have someone there just for me; someone was missing. I gotta say, I'd much rather go through jumping in that freezing cold water every day, than go through emotional junk every day. At least the water shock wears off, you can change your smelly river clothes, and warm up in a hot shower. The emotional stuff hasn't gotten easier. I have total faith something awesome is going to happen, but some days are harder than others. I'll keep praying, I'll keep hoping for that something fantastic that God has planned for me - I don't know who or when, but I know there's a plan. I'm so grateful that I can rely on His promises and that He'll never forget me - but under that faith, and under part of 'me' is a human who shatters occasionally and can't muster a smile to save her life.
Ugh, that was depressing. But, it was real. So there's that. Someday I'm going to look back on this and think, "Thank God I went through that to get me to where I am. Thank God He saw this victory in store for me."
And oh yes, I marked something off my bucket list today. So far: I visited all things Shakespeare in his hometown, check. I lived in Europe, check. I studied at Cambridge, check. I stood on the stage at the Globe Theatre, check. I found my family roots in Boston (in memory of my precious Grandpa), check. I was published in print *and paid!*, check. I took a road trip on the back of a motorcycle, check. I went on a carriage ride in Central Park w/ an amazing man, check. And today, I did a Polar Plunge - check! On the 14th of February, I get to lead our congregation in a worship song that I wrote - that's gonna be one heckuva check. Later this year - I'm going to Africa, skydiving, and finishing TWO half marathons. (4 checks to come this year!) I'm an especially blessed girl :)
It was a good day, a memorable day, and yes - I have the t-shirt.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 It's a promise I'm counting on :) God never changes, He never fails. And I'm happy to be His.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Changing it up
I have been WAY too restricted in my writing...that's it. I'm going whole hog. Ya know, later.
Soldiering On
This week has been a challenging one! On one hand, I received an amazing compliment from a government country manager at work, and was very grateful at how loud she was with it. On the other hand, so many challenges both personally and professionally - I feel the need to pass out for about two days, and just get all the rest I can. However, I don't have time for that, so I'll soldier on.
Tomorrow, I'm participating in the Polar Plunge for Special Olympics. I'm SO grateful that there is no snow on the ground and that I have the potential to not freeze to death. It's probably the only time in my life that I'll do it, so I might as well enjoy it!
Next weekend I'm heading to Bellingham, so hopefully I can pick up a few items for a good weekend travel story. I love the coast, so I'm looking forward to it! Also, I get to see my family - so it's going to be a great trip! Just praying now for a snow-free pass so I can drive safely there and back without any stress!
Hoping for a wonderful weekend, and some time to relax and finish my state business taxes!
Tomorrow, I'm participating in the Polar Plunge for Special Olympics. I'm SO grateful that there is no snow on the ground and that I have the potential to not freeze to death. It's probably the only time in my life that I'll do it, so I might as well enjoy it!
Next weekend I'm heading to Bellingham, so hopefully I can pick up a few items for a good weekend travel story. I love the coast, so I'm looking forward to it! Also, I get to see my family - so it's going to be a great trip! Just praying now for a snow-free pass so I can drive safely there and back without any stress!
Hoping for a wonderful weekend, and some time to relax and finish my state business taxes!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Calories, Colds, a Treadmill, and Thanskgiving
Our company is competing in a "Biggest Loser" weight-off. I kind of spear-headed it, with the full intention or winning. And, the truth is, it's completely do-able. I have enough weight to lose to make a difference, but not so much that I'd be sick if I lost it. This morning, the big boss weighed in, and he's beating me!!! Oy vey, my weekend of 2000 calories a day may end up biting me, so I'll have to step it up. The hard part is this silly cold thing...I need to learn to burn calories while I blow my nose :) The work week is no problem, it's the weekEND that needs more self control.
I walked about 3 miles yesterday; I would've liked to have walked a lot more than that, but with the cold, I didn't see the need to completely drain myself. I'm hoping to take it up to 5 miles today - I just need to make myself do it. If I intend to finish the half marathon in March, it's going to take some serious effort - and I can do it, I just need to get in the right mindset. Once I finish it, I think I'll be in better headspace to actually jog the half marathon in November. For 2011, I'll go for the entire marathon!
Anywho, I'm blessed today as I'm reminded about the goodness of God. He makes all things new; so even when things look murky, I have the blessed assurance that it won't be murky for long. There's a song that goes: "Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child." I think for the last 8 months or so, He's just calmed me, and so long as He's there, the storms can come. I have no idea what He has planned for me, but I'm looking forward to it with excitement and thanksgiving, that He loves me and knows the desires of my heart. His plan is so much better than anything I could dream of, so I wait for it with abounding hope.
God Bless!
M
I walked about 3 miles yesterday; I would've liked to have walked a lot more than that, but with the cold, I didn't see the need to completely drain myself. I'm hoping to take it up to 5 miles today - I just need to make myself do it. If I intend to finish the half marathon in March, it's going to take some serious effort - and I can do it, I just need to get in the right mindset. Once I finish it, I think I'll be in better headspace to actually jog the half marathon in November. For 2011, I'll go for the entire marathon!
Anywho, I'm blessed today as I'm reminded about the goodness of God. He makes all things new; so even when things look murky, I have the blessed assurance that it won't be murky for long. There's a song that goes: "Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child." I think for the last 8 months or so, He's just calmed me, and so long as He's there, the storms can come. I have no idea what He has planned for me, but I'm looking forward to it with excitement and thanksgiving, that He loves me and knows the desires of my heart. His plan is so much better than anything I could dream of, so I wait for it with abounding hope.
God Bless!
M
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Two 3 year old Blessings :)
At our first Zambia missions meeting this Sunday, everyone kept mentioning their sponsored children in Zambia. I had no idea that everyone was hoping to meet their sponsored children. How exciting! So...I went onto the World Vision website and prayed about what I should do; how many, if any should I commit to sponsoring? I looked yesterday and prayerfully considered it last night. God hasn't blessed me with children yet, so the very least I can do is try to bless others' children.
My first instinct was to sponsor just one child, and for some reason, my heart was set on a little girl. So, today, I went online and picked a little girl (let me tell you how gut wrenching that decision was, if I had the money, I would've sponsored them all.) Her name is Agness and she is 3. She lives in a village completely affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Her health is unsatisfactory, but she loves to jump :) I am in love with her sweet little face, and God willing, I'll meet her in April.
After sharing my joyful news with a few coworkers, I felt a strong tugging to sponsor one more child. I prayed, and asked 'if the money is there, I'll do it.' So, I got out the calculator, and did the math about the little raise I just got...it was .26 more than I needed to sponsor two children every month...so I went back into the World Vision site and found another 3 year old, this time a happy little man (complete with tie) named Saviour. He lives in the same area as Agness. He loves football and helps with washing the dishes. I gotta say, I haven't even met them, and it's only been hours since I committed to sponsoring them, but I am elated about this. I picked little ones so I could hopefully watch them grow into healthy little people. I will be blessed beyond measure if I can meet both of them in April.
In the diet news: I'm doing well, eating healthy, and somehow even lost weight despite my food frenzy in Cleveland. I'm going to work out lightly tonight, seeing as the airplane cold I caught is still taking residence in my lungs.
I made a decision to stop wasting food this year. I'm going to try to stop frivolous spending, and focus more on giving to those who don't have as much as I do. Until February 6th, I'm not purchasing coffee, treats, soda, etc. I'll eat what's in my house, but not spoil myself with additional things that only lead to gluttony and laziness. It's important that we do all we can for those who don't have as much as we do - so I'm going to walk it out.
God has blessed me with a good job, a nice place to live, warm clothes, and a loving group of family and friends. I'm overwhelmed by my blessings and His goodness. If you read this, I encourage you to take action too. I chose http://www.worldvision.org/ - maybe you will, too!
God Bless!
M
My first instinct was to sponsor just one child, and for some reason, my heart was set on a little girl. So, today, I went online and picked a little girl (let me tell you how gut wrenching that decision was, if I had the money, I would've sponsored them all.) Her name is Agness and she is 3. She lives in a village completely affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Her health is unsatisfactory, but she loves to jump :) I am in love with her sweet little face, and God willing, I'll meet her in April.
After sharing my joyful news with a few coworkers, I felt a strong tugging to sponsor one more child. I prayed, and asked 'if the money is there, I'll do it.' So, I got out the calculator, and did the math about the little raise I just got...it was .26 more than I needed to sponsor two children every month...so I went back into the World Vision site and found another 3 year old, this time a happy little man (complete with tie) named Saviour. He lives in the same area as Agness. He loves football and helps with washing the dishes. I gotta say, I haven't even met them, and it's only been hours since I committed to sponsoring them, but I am elated about this. I picked little ones so I could hopefully watch them grow into healthy little people. I will be blessed beyond measure if I can meet both of them in April.
In the diet news: I'm doing well, eating healthy, and somehow even lost weight despite my food frenzy in Cleveland. I'm going to work out lightly tonight, seeing as the airplane cold I caught is still taking residence in my lungs.
I made a decision to stop wasting food this year. I'm going to try to stop frivolous spending, and focus more on giving to those who don't have as much as I do. Until February 6th, I'm not purchasing coffee, treats, soda, etc. I'll eat what's in my house, but not spoil myself with additional things that only lead to gluttony and laziness. It's important that we do all we can for those who don't have as much as we do - so I'm going to walk it out.
God has blessed me with a good job, a nice place to live, warm clothes, and a loving group of family and friends. I'm overwhelmed by my blessings and His goodness. If you read this, I encourage you to take action too. I chose http://www.worldvision.org/ - maybe you will, too!
God Bless!
M
Saturday, January 9, 2010
New Challenges
Just before the end of the year, I registered for a half marathon. It's not until November, but it's already got my blood pumping. I'm NOT in shape for this, so I'm so very grateful that I have 11 months to prepare myself for it! I also started a Biggest Loser competition at work this week, and then promptly left for Cleveland on a business trip, and proceded to eat AWFUL, HIGH CALORIE food all week. Oh yes, this is fantastic progress already. Excuse me while I purchase stock in dexatrim and exlax...NOT going according to plan, but this will all change tomorrow!
So, before I will set foot on the half marathon course, I plan to run a 3.75 mile dash in Seattle, a 5k in April in Spokane, Bloomsday in Spokane in May, then another half marathon in the Pac NW along with another 5k before the official half M in November. Like the true academic nerd I am, I even bought a book, "The Idiots Guide to Running"...oh yeah, you can say it. NERD! Considering I'm a chronic asthmatic with a bum leg, I'm beyond excited to see how this goes. I know that God is bigger than asthma, and He's bigger than a torn muscle, so while I'm being smart not to hurt myself or cause an attack, I am excited about what is going to happen this year.
This year I'm trying to keep better track of what I'm praying for and how it's answered. A friend of mine from high school is going through what seems to be the roughest time of her life. She could lose her marriage and both of her children...as a single girl who longs for a future husband and children, I wonder; is it better to not have those things, than to finally get them and then struggle with the possibility of losing them? She's constantly on my mind and always in my prayers. I know that God has a wonderful plan for her and that He holds her in the palm of His hand, so I hand it over to Him instead of worrying about it. His word promises us that "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it." Rom 8:28, so I stand on that promise and will continue to hold her up and encourage her any way I can. It's heart wrenching, knowing I can't do anything to take the hurt away. The AMAZING news is, I know the one who can.
I'm hoping to go on the missions trip to Zambia in April. It would be a dream come true, and an amazing opportunity to reach people who otherwise, may not ever receive the help they need. We're told in the NT to "go ye therefore into all the world", so I hope that despite my status as a non-church member, I will be able to go. What an opportunity, to cuddle orphans and help provide them with fresh, clean water...in abundant supply! I'd LOVE to hit all 7 continents for Christ this decade. I think it's do-able...it's HUGE, but not impossible :)
I want to make a difference this year, I want to help change the world in this decade. I want to lead a healthy, happy life - I want to be an example by complaining less and encouraging more; by being more grateful and by trying to make a change for the good. I serve an AMAZING God, NOTHING is impossible for Him, NOTHING is too difficult for Him - and so long as I put Him first, then He'll see to the desires of my heart and direct my path. It's pretty darn intense when you think about it.
Here's to a New Year, a New Decade, and a New outlook.
God Bless!!
M
So, before I will set foot on the half marathon course, I plan to run a 3.75 mile dash in Seattle, a 5k in April in Spokane, Bloomsday in Spokane in May, then another half marathon in the Pac NW along with another 5k before the official half M in November. Like the true academic nerd I am, I even bought a book, "The Idiots Guide to Running"...oh yeah, you can say it. NERD! Considering I'm a chronic asthmatic with a bum leg, I'm beyond excited to see how this goes. I know that God is bigger than asthma, and He's bigger than a torn muscle, so while I'm being smart not to hurt myself or cause an attack, I am excited about what is going to happen this year.
This year I'm trying to keep better track of what I'm praying for and how it's answered. A friend of mine from high school is going through what seems to be the roughest time of her life. She could lose her marriage and both of her children...as a single girl who longs for a future husband and children, I wonder; is it better to not have those things, than to finally get them and then struggle with the possibility of losing them? She's constantly on my mind and always in my prayers. I know that God has a wonderful plan for her and that He holds her in the palm of His hand, so I hand it over to Him instead of worrying about it. His word promises us that "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it." Rom 8:28, so I stand on that promise and will continue to hold her up and encourage her any way I can. It's heart wrenching, knowing I can't do anything to take the hurt away. The AMAZING news is, I know the one who can.
I'm hoping to go on the missions trip to Zambia in April. It would be a dream come true, and an amazing opportunity to reach people who otherwise, may not ever receive the help they need. We're told in the NT to "go ye therefore into all the world", so I hope that despite my status as a non-church member, I will be able to go. What an opportunity, to cuddle orphans and help provide them with fresh, clean water...in abundant supply! I'd LOVE to hit all 7 continents for Christ this decade. I think it's do-able...it's HUGE, but not impossible :)
I want to make a difference this year, I want to help change the world in this decade. I want to lead a healthy, happy life - I want to be an example by complaining less and encouraging more; by being more grateful and by trying to make a change for the good. I serve an AMAZING God, NOTHING is impossible for Him, NOTHING is too difficult for Him - and so long as I put Him first, then He'll see to the desires of my heart and direct my path. It's pretty darn intense when you think about it.
Here's to a New Year, a New Decade, and a New outlook.
God Bless!!
M
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